Bullies.
I never understood them.
I was bullied in elementary school. and in middle school. and in high school.
I can remember specific instances when I would come home crying, wondering what I did wrong or why kids were so mean to me. My mom always told me to let it roll of my back, and I was stronger than that, and to just look the other way.
I am stronger than that. But the pain is real. Just because I know I'm a better human being having gone through tough situations doesn't mean I don't still hurt when I think about those days.
I see kids getting bullied all the time. And people say they take a stand. But what about that one little girl that gets picked on every day because she's different and likes to read in class rather than talk? What about that one boy who gets the books knocked out of his hands just because other kids need something to do? What about the bullied and the beaten and the loners who are overlooked because what they are getting picked on for isn't national news.
I'm glad people are taking a stand for gay rights-stand up for what you believe in and don't let anyone tell you differently. So this is me taking a stand. People get bullied for all sorts of reasons. From the outside, nothing would give me a reason to be picked on. I'm short-if anything, that's it. But for years, to endure it, was hard. And it was constant, and never-ending, and it was all over nothing. Just because my bullying points weren't "hot issues" in today's society doesn't mean my pain was any less real. And kids today who are bullied for whatever reason-don't let anyone tell you that you're wrong for feeling the way you do.
When the hurt becomes too much, and you feel like you have no one to go to-talk to someone, anyone. A teacher, a counselor, a pastor, a parent, a babysitter. Someone with authority that can help. And even if all they do is offer a shoulder to cry on and a promise to always be there, take it. Because it's easy to feel lost and feel like no one understands.
Have faith that one day things get better. They do, I promise. I'm flourishing now. I've graduated college and I've got a great group of friends who have shown me what true friendship is, and who keep me grounded. I've got a mother who went to my high school every day for six months trying to get the bullying to stop; she never gave up on me, and never will.
But most importantly, what I learned from everything that I've gone through and all the name calling and all the snide comments, and all the hurtful moments-I've got me. I've grown into someone who knows how to show compassion and can understand the pain and torment, but can also understand the beauty of the world. Who can still smile and still appreciate all the little things. Who still gets up every morning grateful for the opportunity to somehow make a difference. And it's not easy-high school and middle school and even elementary school is a rough time to grow-but through it all, I grew. The rest didn't matter. I became a better person through it all. And at the end of the day, I have to live with myself. And those other people? Yeah, I think about them from time to time. Wonder what they made of their lives. And then I realize how much I can make of mine still-and that's too precious to take away.
I promise, it gets better. Never give up on that. So no matter how are why you are feeling alone, or scared, or unsure...know that someone loves you. Whether it's a parent, a friend, a teacher, a brother, or me, writing a post. It's harder to love someone than it is to hate-it requires you to open your heart and let people in. And while we've all got a little meanness in us, the only thing worth living for is the good. Believe in that.
